So she didn't really want kids and then had a child on the spectrum? That's a tough hand to be dealt.
She had always wanted two kids. But when it came to trying, she would say that now is not the time (for a few reasons, the main being that she wanted to hit some professional goals before trying - which is okay to aim for within a reasonable time, but time flew by, and we continued to get older and well past our prime for having children).
Originally Posted by kml
Be aware that the odds of having a second child on the spectrum are higher after you've had one - from a 2017 study: "The sibling recurrence rate, defined as the probability of a child having ASD with 1 or more siblings with ASD, has been estimated to be 6.1% to 18.7%"
Would you have the energy and the means to deal with two autistic children, especially if a second was more severely affected?
Yes this bothers me. I think there is a path to independence for my son (its a humble goal, but in ASD you can never be sure). But if the next one is more severely affected then it can be really problematic. I know of couples who went through with a 2nd because they wanted a sibling who could take care of the 1st born.
