Spot on. Yes, it's a history of cow towing, and in extreme cases, tantrums, silent treatment, and the stare. Which triggers my avoidance. A lot of reflection has made me realise how bad it was, and her manipulation to frame those confrontations back on me. And since BD2, that was my 180. I am doing none of that. I'm aware that all her reactions relate to the loss of control, and that her fantasy separation isn't happening.
The mistake I'm making is engaging still. I reread the LRT, and yeah, still too much contact.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend time with D1 while the others had a city trip. Not only was it quality bonding time, it showed me how calm and easier parenting is without STBXW around. Plus I had some much needed self-care. And the bonus, if STBXW tries to claim in mediation I can't look after a one year old, the proof is fresh. It was sad that I got no details on the fun they had. But I'll forever cherish that day with D1.
All said, I'm in great shape. L will start the process, including responses to her rediculous demands. It's settlement on my terms. Once I have a parenting plan, I'm immediately out the house.
In IC, my P said of all his clients in my sitch, I'm in the best state. I'm taking back the power and emotionally healthy. He said each time I see him, I'm changing. I attribute a lot of that to this forum. DB principles work. And they have worked both times for me. In BD1 it won me back W. In BD2 it is saving my sanity and putting me on a healthy path forward.
