S8 was sick in the hotel and soiled the bed. I just responded that must have been hard.
That wasn't validation--your STBXW did not express any feelings. Examples of expressing feelings. "I'm SO exhausted. XW just soiled the bed. Again. It's 2am." "S8 soiled the bed. I'm pi$$ed! Why am I ALWAYS the one cleaning up their bodily fluids?!"
Originally Posted by tt180
STBXW raged
You identified a feeling! This was an opportunity to validate.
Originally Posted by tt180
Part of me wants to stay true to me and validate regardless of response. Definately I do more at work and with friends. The other part of me wants to just drop it and stay business like. Thoughts?
I've shared them with you before. If you want to get good at validation, practice and share here what you hear, your reply, and how they responded. You can do this for friends and family, too. If you work at it you can become good relatively quickly.
