Pretty rough week. STBXW raged when I told her financial conversations are now through lawyers. That's fine, I just ignore the follow up emails. Compounding this, I called her out on a violent outburst where she pushed stuff off the table and kicked some bags on the floor. In front of S8. You can imagine the denial and anger. Proves to me so much of our relationship had gaslighting.
She went away with D11 and S8 for a city get away. I had awesome time with D1 for 24 hours. It validated just how awesome it is with STBXW away and how competent I am despite what she says. This will be good for mediation.
I'm also suspicious she emailed me a sensible financial proposal to get us half way. Sell the house, split 40%, 20% goes to other financial commitments, we sort out final settlement later. I haven't floated this with L yet, but I like the idea of moving out quickly and having 75% of settlement cash. The reason I'm suspicious is this came after the comment about an L.
I also have another question about validation. I'm not doing it often with her, but when I do, I'd like to think that I keep it simple. She smsed me that S8 was sick in the hotel and soiled the bed. I just responded that must have been hard. I get an angry reply that I don't want your sympathy, I'm just telling you.
Part of me wants to stay true to me and validate regardless of response. Definately I do more at work and with friends. The other part of me wants to just drop it and stay business like. Thoughts?
