No such luck

[bttrfly]

As for why I am “attracted” to any of these “broken” men. I will not call it a trauma bond, but I have lived a hard life from day one. I never had it easy, I’ve had it very challenging . My childhood wasn’t great, and because of that we all know how my early adulthood went . Chose a bad partner . That was when I was “broken” I know hardship and I can relate to others who have known hardship. It’s something in common. But I don’t consider myself broken. Texan is broken. It makes me very sad for him. But the guy who grew up with a great childhood and had everything easy makes it kind of hard for me to relate I guess. Or maybe I feel like they can’t relate to me. But there is a fine line between broken and those who knew hardship. I find that character can be developed from a hard life abs overcoming obstacles and coming out on top. That’s something that is very attractive tics to me and I can relate to.

So I hope that explains it a bit better. Do I entertain these “broken” men longer than I should? Yea. A part of me understands their pain.

My darling girl, I've known people who seemingly had idyllic childhoods. Everything you could want for your kids - great schools, strong family bonds, enough money to do absolutely anything they wanted, some from exceptionally well-connected families. Yet, those people still struggled. It's the human struggle G. What I'm saying is don't go by what's readily obvious. You might be surprised if you gave one of those guys a chance ... the two of you might relate on the really important things in an unexpected way. I'm thinking of one of my close friends right now - there's no way a second generation Italian kid from a blue collar family should have anything in common with someone from his background, yet we do, and those bonds are tighter than you could imagine. All I'm saying is keep your mind open.

Now there's also the not feeling comfortable in that world. I get it. My son's godfather comes from that world, and when we would vacation together as an extended family I had to overcome my own feelings of not being good enough because of my working class family background. Maybe that's something to think about for you too? I will say this - as i've lived more, gotten more 'seasoned' I've also become way more comfortable in my own skin. Everything that's happened to me, absolutely everything, has made me who I am today and I'm a freaking unicorn. Someone would be really lucky to have me in their life. I'm not boasting. I'm not saying I'm without faults - one look around my messier-than-I'd-like house will give me ample things to put myself down over, but the real core of me? That's not gold, it's titanium. I see that in you, which leads me here:

You could have achieved the same outcome but without much of the pain, anxiety and drama had you gone slower and made him prove himself BEFORE he was given the prize of becoming your boyfriend. You gave him the prize and then allowed him to win it. Typically people have to win the game before getting the trophy. You chose to give him the trophy at the start of the game.

Baby girl, YOU ARE THE PRIZE! YOU ARE THE TROPHY! Believe that. Live that. You are NOT a "presentation trophy" for some guy who actually shows up. YOU ARE THE REAL DEAL Super G. Do you know what I always call you that, think of you as Super G? Because YOU are INCREDIBLE!
I'm not blowing smoke up your comely @$$ or saying this because it's your birthday. I'm saying this because it's the truth.

Look at where you started out in your life.
Look at what you've overcome.
Look at what an absolutely OUTSTANDING job you've done as a mother.

You have more compassion and forgiveness than most people I've met in my lifetime put together. It shows in how you are with your Dad and stepmom, despite how your dad behaves at times. It shows in how you are with your exh and his wife. I'm in awe of you.

Look at how good you are at your job.
Look at what esteem you're held in by your colleagues.

Take a good look at the you we all see.

Don't give her away as a participation trophy. You're worth much more than that.

Happy birthday G.

I love ya kehd!

xoxoxox