WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont12.)

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ScottB,

Loving your updates lately - you're certainly GAL'ing like a madman, and it's inspiring.

Sounds like you made the most of the Holiday weekend and your upcoming vacations should be a blast.

I've also had some interesting conversations with my married friends about said freedom. In the single life I have all the freedom, but I also have to find peace with the fact that sometimes I'm lonely. In the married life, I was never really lonely, but I also didn't have freedom - and neither do my married friends. Its interesting.

There are pros and cons to anything in life, and certainly folks envious of others' situations, no matter which side of the fence they fall. I guess it goes to show you just have to make the most of the situations life deals you and enjoy it regardless. Enjoy the freedom now, and deal with the relationship when that comes.

Ideally you'll find a partner who values both togetherness and freedom so you don't have to choose one or the other. I caught up with a coworker just yesterday who was saying that her she and her fiancée like to do things together but he also doesn't mind her going off if he's not interested in something and she enjoys that freedom - sounds like they have a good balance.

One issue I have to deal with in regards to my ex is that she seems to be getting some digs in related to me not spending money on the kids to the kids. My daughter kind of brought it up the other day. I send my ex a little over $3k per month for her and the kids and she has a good job on top of that. I think I'm going to sit the kids down this weekend to let them know that I pay child support as well as 70% of all their expenses. I didn't want to do that, but some things that are happening need to be explained.

Your kids are older, right? Teens? I think an honest, frank discussion is fair if your Ex is sowing seeds in their mind. Lay out the facts without bias or digs the other way, to show them you're doing your fair share financially.

I like SteveLW's approach - if you think you can have an honest conversation with ExW and trust her to stop - but that might be asking a lot in your situation, so you may need to go R2C's route to get the full story out there.

My kids are too young now, but I keep a spreadsheet/accounting of my child support costs for a variety of reasons, one of which includes the potential (if needed) to have that discussion when they're older.