I was nervous about being lonely going into Memorial Day weekend, because I didn't have anything planned and I didn't have my kids for 6 days. I'm also not seeing anyone.
But I went climbing indoors and then booked a date for friday at the last minute, the date was a bust - just not a fit. I then met up with my cousin afterwards to have a beer. Saturday I went to two baseball games my son played in, worked out, and then played my guitar, read a book, went to a steakhouse on my own, andt I bought a second kayak.
Sunday I went to church, and then went to brunch and randomly sat down at the bar next to a guy I was friends with 20 years ago - had a great time catching up. Then i worked out, kayaked for three hours, road my bike for 40 minutes, and went to dinner at my parents house with my brother's family and an aunt and uncle.
Then Monday I did some chores and got my kids back. On Monday, before I got them I looked back and was surprised at how much I had enjoyed myself.
But it is interesting how on the day to day I do have this desire to be with someone else. Maybe that's natural - I enjoy my time alone, and I have some cool stuff going on, but I am interested in the idea of having a companion.
Anyhow, I've got some incredible things planned coming up. In July I'm heading to Bermuda, then two weeks later I'm heading to Seneca Rocks in WV to go climbing, and two weeks after that I head to Chile.
I'm not sure if its normal with where I'm at in recovering from the divorce or not, but I feel an odd urgency to get out and go do incredible things I haven't been able to do. Literally if a weekend goes by and I don't have the kids and I have nothing amazing planned it feels like a waste. I'm not sure if that is me trying to avoid life or my trying to live life; maybe a little of both.
All and all I am making pretty darn good use of my freedom. I've also had some interesting conversations with my married friends about said freedom. In the single life I have all the freedom, but I also have to find peace with the fact that sometimes I'm lonely. In the married life, I was never really lonely, but I also didn't have freedom - and neither do my married friends. Its interesting. Anyhow, I like to pop on once in a while to say hi.
One issue I have to deal with in regards to my ex is that she seems to be getting some digs in related to me not spending money on the kids to the kids. My daughter kind of brought it up the other day. I send my ex a little over $3k per month for her and the kids and she has a good job on top of that. I think I'm going to sit the kids down this weekend to let them know that I pay child support as well as 70% of all their expenses. I didn't want to do that, but some things that are happening need to be explained.
