In your current position I think I would focus on the positives (there are many), analyze the places where I could have made a different choice and keep moving forward.

I don't think you're going to want to hear this, but I'm going to say it anyway: scary as it is, perhaps working through some childhood trauma with a professional would break the patterns.

I wish you only love and happiness Super G, I hope you know that. I'm proud of you for giving this guy his walking papers. The only thing I might have added was a Gamblers' Anonymous or AA meeting list if I felt somewhat predisposed in that direction. Poor b@st@rd needs a program for sure, but he has to be willing to do that work. You are well aware it's not yours to do, and well done on that front my friend!

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver