No such luck

[LH19]

Things went “fast” with me and the Texan.

I would say they went twice as fast as a typical CW relationship.

Well, fast on his end, anyways. I was still skeptical, but trying to enjoy the ride. We did have fun together until the last week.

What was fun in the beginning?

I apparently can’t attract a healthy man.

Can't or aren't interested in healthy men?

Well, I also realized he has a drinking problem. Like, as you all know, I like to drink, but I am generally responsible . He was a 51 year old man who would just get hammered. I mean completely hammered. And when he does? Obnoxious and kind of racist. And to make matters worse when he got to that point? He would run away to a casino and gamble the money away he made that day.

I believe you saw this right away yet...............

I ordered him an Uber and got him home. I was PISSEd! He promised he wouldn’t do that again . also, it was my mothers birthday. My mother who was an addict and took her own life. 2 days a year I allow feelings towards my mother . Her birthday and her death day. He knew this. But he was so self absorbed

It should have ended on Mother's day which was like 3 1/2 weeks ago.

Well, twice more in the week he did it. Not to the point he couldn’t get his car. But where he drank too much and was obnoxious.

So much for promises.

He was supposed to go out with my work friends on Friday night but he was sick. And I was kind of thankful. He felt better the next day and said he was coming to spend the weekend. We, Saturday, he got totally bombed when we were out. He was completely embarrassing and appropriate . We got in a huge fight and he left .for the casino. I was livid.

I'll bet!

He apologized profusely and I told him I won’t tolerate this anymore.

Ultimatum came way too late!

He came over. No drinking and we went to the movies, but he slept through the whole thing.

Spit my coffee

Then he calls me and I could hear the slur in his voice. I told him To run away to the casino as you usually do, because I am done. Guess what he did? Ran to the casino.

Well he's consistent

I told him I am totally done as he was a liar and couldn’t keep a promise .he texted and called all night and I wouldn’t answer .

Good for you!

Yesterday he apologized. I told him I was done and that I hope he gets the help he needs because he has a serious problem.

A 51 year old war vet with PTSD and a drinking and gambling problem is NEVER going to change.

He went on to apologize for what he did.

His words mean nothing.

I told him in my life I need someone I can feel safe and cherished with, and he really just made me feel anxious and worrimost of the time .he apologized again.

That's what every woman wants.

I simply wished him the best and that was it.

You did the right thing!

And , well, that was it. I don’t miss him and I honestly feel relived.

I bet!

The thought of having him around h friends this weekend gave me anxiety.

When it's right you will be excited to have a man meet your friends.

It’s my birthday Friday and we were all supposed to hang out and go to a winery. I was literally afraid of what would happen if we drank too much. What am I sad for? Back to square one yet again.

I thought he wasn't invted to girls night out?

Sad that I cannot attract a healthy man.

You can. Healthy just isn't your number one priority.

My past few options? An ex heroin addict, a guy with bipolar disorder. A pizza delivery guy on disability. And an alcoholic with PTSD and a gambling problem .

Yikes!

Look, I’m not the hottest woman alive. But I’m not awful on the eyes.

So are you saying you're avg?

I am a professional with a career.

This means mothing to a man.

A good parent. Very responsible. Good friends and people genuinely like me and trust me .

This means nothing to a man.

But I also know how to have lots of fun. I’m not the worst catch. I would think I can find a decent human.

You 100% can find a decent human being if you so choose.

But no such luck . It’s awfully depressing . And on Friday I turn 21 for the second time but it isn’t getting any easier .it’s looking bleak.

It's getting harder because women have less options the older they get.

But truth is, instead of the casino getaway we had planned tonight, I’m happier with my daughter and my daughter fans his wife watching the hockey game .my anxiety is gone .

Peacefulness is good.

I can spend time with friends without worrying he will be an arse.

I thought it was a girls night out?

I joined this new intense gym that I love. I have been going a lot and focusing on it. Found out I have above average muscle. And a little too I hope fat. But I’m working on it. I look forward to the gym when I can go.

This is the best part of your post!

I got a new mountain bike for my birthday and I’ve been planning local bike rides on some rail trails my life is full for the most part .

Awesome!

It was just nice having a date. Someone to talk to at night .

Actually it sounded pretty horrible.

I do feel for him. Adopted. Only child. Both parents dead. 2 ex wives abs an ex GF who cheated . He’s alone in the world. Bit putting forth no effort to keep the people he cares about his life . On his drunken bender he said to me “ Why should I grow up? I’m 51 and have nothing “ I don’t need a child in my life or someone o have to worry about. Felt too much like my mom and my ex husband.

You didn't break him and you can't fix him.

I may always be single.

Maybe but highly unlikely.

I know this is my fault and I chose to trust too much.

You chose to ignore major red flags. That never ends well.

I was aware of the red flags, but I trusted. There is only so much you can do.

You can ignore reality but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.

So , that it. Single again and probably forever . I tried and failed again. And I’m good. Focus is on me .

Just another guy in NJ you are not compatible with.

So few people left and even those who are post very little while others feel the need to block posters who force them to look at the truth.

So I noticed yesterday I have more "likes" than most if not all posters but I think I am blocked by at least 4 posters. Interesting.

In your case I was concerned that you had not posted at all about this new guy you. I was pretty sure that was because you didn’t want to hear what we’d have to say if you provided the truth. If it was going well it would only make sense you’d want to tell us how wonderful things were and how happy you were. The silence was deafening. Now I see why.

Don I had the boards back while she was silent. She chose to ignore me though lol. Them damn trees in the forest lol.

I give you huge compliments for being forthcoming and honest now. I know you feel bad. You deserve so much more. Why would you even let it go this long with the blinding red flags flying everywhere. This guy is clearly not worthy of you. He was showing who he is. It was clear. You knew it. You just didn’t want to.

I can't disagree with Don. You are lucky the damage was minimal. The guy seems really unstable and things could have been a lot worse. Onward and upward.