So W starts an argument tonight to explain her frustration with me for my trip out of town. I was gone Sunday from around noon til Monday night and was back around 11. I left a message I was headed out and when I would be back, which apparently isn't the source of the argument. It's that i drove 6 hours to visit friends. According to her, too far without talking to her about it. Makes no sense to me. Just apologized that it bothered her and we left it there.
Never apologize. I suggest avoiding all validation statements that start with "I am sorry....." I never liked those. "I understand you feel I should run longer trips by you." Notice, you are recognizing how she feels, but you are neither agreeing with or disagreeing with her, no making excuses or apologizing. And then remember, be the one that ends the conversation. "I understand that you feel I should run longer trips by you. I have to go, I have a lot to do."
LBSs secretly like to get sucked into these kinds of arguments. However, it is a cheeseless tunnel. Listen for a reasonable amount of time (as long as she isn't yelling or being disrespectful), then validate and end the conversation. Most LBSs get tripped up by interacting too much with the WAS.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
