Feels like failure again

[BL42]

Bunches,

Did a recent visit for S near where he lives instead of here.

Good! You & your S should be a priority.

I spent a couple days out of town over the weekend and went to see some very old friends.

Good! Visiting old friends is perfect GAL.

W didn't seem to take this so well. I'm trying not to react to her reactions.

Sounds like your W has a lot of resentment. I get the sense she wouldn't be cheery regardless of what you did, and I think it's good you're getting away - you two need space. Good for you for not reacting emotionally to her.

Everyone seems to gauge me well that I can't seem to DB very well. Emotions hold too much sway. I'm trying.

I don't know, this update seems alright. Spending time w/son, friends, giving space, not reacting emotionally, gym...etc.

Two weeks ago we did go to the counseling appointment we set up and there was a lot of difficulty. W did talk but it seemed so difficult for her. She talked about resentment she feels like I have toward her. We decided to take IC for follow ups but the counselor seems to want us to come again together to talk about treatment.

I agree w/Steve that MC isn't going to work if you're not both into it. Don't follow up with MC unless W is really pushing it and genuinely invested. Instead keep going to IC and focus on yourself.

W has since cancelled her individual appointment and took time instead to go camping with our other boys without me.

What did you do with her gift of time? Did you take advantage of it?

At my recent IC it was suggested I'm carrying some trauma from the affairs of previous marriage and this one has made it worse.

Seems very possible. I'd continue with IC and explore that.

I'm trying to figure out summer plans. I've got a lot of vacation time and if I can I'd like to plan something where I can get S away for some time if I can organize work around it.

Perfect. Do it!

Still going steadily to the gym and started hanging out with an old friend in my spare time.

Great! Are you seeing physical results of the gym? Feeling more in-shape, attractive, and confident?

Bunches - Perhaps nothing "major" in your update, but it seems like you're doing well...getting away and giving space, spending time with S and friends, hitting the gym, going to IC. Keep all of those up. You'll get through this!