WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - 1 Year Divorced (7)

[BL42]

kml,

So - are you ready to date now, do you think?

Honestly not sure. I do feel lonely at times and would like some adult companionship, but then other times when the anger bubbles up I think well maybe I'm not ready or when D3 has a meltdown I think well how could anyone want to step into that position and maybe I really just need to focus on the kids. Something casual would be nice, where I could see someone occasionally and enjoy company and maybe an emotional or physical connection as opposed to a quick serious nature, because I can't see how someone could fit into every day life with the young kids.

Why did exW file for a review of child support when SHE is making more money? Does she not know how this works??? Or does she think you are making more in just 12 months that would offset her increased income?

Good question. Our D agreement says we're obligated to notify of a change in employer, but no requirement to petition for an adjustment to child support, so I think she's confused and conflating the former with the latter...though that's admittedly speculation. My L called the petition "a little bizarre" and said "I've never seen a filing where someone’s own increase is the basis for a modification", but good for me I suppose. I'm effectively paying her mortgage payment at the moment, despite spending more time with the kids than she does, so some relief there would be welcomed and not unreasonable. When she initially told me about the new job/salary she asked if we should deal with the courts or figure it out ourselves, I responded the latter to avoid time/cost/courts/lawyers, but she decided to go through the courts for whatever reason. I get the sense she wants a judge to review it and decide to make it official, which isn't exactly how it works.

An adult vacation sounds like a great idea.

Yeah, maybe it's time to plan something for myself. Finances & vacation time are not an issue - just need to get past the day-to-day and plan in advance.

Also - bear in mind - your marriage was already broken when OM2 showed up on the scene. This really isn't about him but about her. Keep your anger focused on her, she's the responsible party.

That's true. I question OM2's integrity sleeping and moving in with a married woman, but no doubt it's more on ExW. I don't have a lot of anger towards OM1 if I'm being honest. My issue more stems from OM2 living with my two young kids. Hate the idea of the immoral example they're being modeled, and me potentially being displaced (though realistically I don't believe that would actually happen).