Feels like failure again

[Bunches]

So I hadn't posted any updates in recent weeks. Not much has changed. Did a recent visit for S near where he lives instead of here. Finding some new norms at work which is giving me some time back. I spent a couple days out of town over the weekend and went to see some very old friends. W didn't seem to take this so well. I'm trying not to react to her reactions. Everyone seems to gauge me well that I can't seem to DB very well. Emotions hold too much sway. I'm trying.

Two weeks ago we did go to the counseling appointment we set up and there was a lot of difficulty. W did talk but it seemed so difficult for her. She talked about resentment she feels like I have toward her. We decided to take IC for follow ups but the counselor seems to want us to come again together to talk about treatment. W has since cancelled her individual appointment and took time instead to go camping with our other boys without me. At my recent IC it was suggested I'm carrying some trauma from the affairs of previous marriage and this one has made it worse.

I'm trying to figure out summer plans. I've got a lot of vacation time and if I can I'd like to plan something where I can get S away for some time if I can organize work around it.

Still going steadily to the gym and started hanging out with an old friend in my spare time.