Actually, I would argue that the sex, breakfast and hanging out have given her pause - hence her hedging about maybe continuing to live together.
These resemble day-to-day MR activities of course and they may remind her of what life can be like and hence lead to a pause. This is a side-effect of our in-home situation though, as I am focused on me and my son right now. I am doing them as a head of the household should, but I have no expectations that they might make her stay. I am able to enjoy the present (this took some work) and I am happy that my son is enjoying that until it lasts. The things that I do around the house seem to be more visible to her now but that gets suspended when she lets her bitterness explode like yesterday.
Originally Posted by kml
If this behavior is different from your previous behavior it can be a good thing. If previous you was aloof, then being more present is a 180. She seems to be protesting too much right now.
I have never been aloof. I have been there for her emotionally for important things like her career, social/friends issues etc. Physically I do a lot around the house (although she denies this), my son's always-on therapist and everything else a super-present dad is expected to be (she accepts and denies per situation). What she does complain about is not being able to talk to me about mundane things because she would not know how I would take it. I used to be very irritable and that affected her a lot. What starts off as a mundane irritation would often lead to a fight after she reacts very negatively to my irritation. No control of emotions from both sides. My irritability has gone away completely now and I'm able to slow-mo my reactions.
Originally Posted by kml
“Because we loved each other once and I believe we could again”.
Good sentence. Another good sentence is what R2C pointed to - "Because I want you to be happy". They are genuine and simple.
Originally Posted by kml
BUT - all that presupposes that you WANT to stay married to her. If you’ve realized you’re better off without her, then the approach is different.
Do I want to stay married to her - yes, but I have recently been thinking of the other side too. Loving another woman and having her love me back and perhaps starting another family could be a great thing. But then again, keeping the current family together with genuine love would also be a great thing and that is why I am still in it. Is that even possible given her current mindset and behavior? I am quite doubtful. What I have no doubt over is that I have to prioritize myself and GAL and detach. These will help me in the future regardless of where this R leads.
