Wolf, I see that as very positive--you filled up her love tank a bit by putting effort in to make her GRE happen, and she responded by trying to reschedule the GRE AND was at your son's game. I hope your weekend had some joy in it!
Originally Posted by Wolf
It’s like if I tell her to do something or what to do, she absolutely does not like that and will go against it. Not very mature, I know, but I am learning. I appreciate everyone talking to me.
Originally Posted by BL42
You're learning how she'll react, but what is the take-away? How will that inform your own actions?
Originally Posted by Wolf
BL you asked what is the take away. That she needs how to learn to communicate better. I spoke with a couples therapist and are trying to get us in this week. Gf is onboard with it. Like so many of you said, our communication stinks.
You say "OUR" communication stinks, but you focus on changes for HER. When you say "I tell her what to do" and "She goes against that" to me there are problems on both sides: (1) Given she's your equal, your partner, "telling her what to do" should rarely to never happen and (2) When you do order her around she should actively say "NO!" and tell you where to stick it rather than a dismissive response and then passively doing something else. Hopefully, in therapy, the conversation is less about who's right or wrong in such situations and more about how you can interact better going forward.
