Summary: ExW (37) & I (40) were together 9 years, married 7, with two young children (then S4/D1, now S7/D3). BD shortly after a nice family Disney vacation, and soon discovered her affair w/married co-worker. For months I pursued, chased, begged, snooped...etc., put the kids to bed at night while she "worked late" and got up in the morning with them while she "went to work early". Affair w/OM1 blows up when their employer & OM1's wife find out; instead of working on the marriage ExW starts up w/OM2, moves out, files for divorce, moves OM2 right in (including with my kids). Physical separation coming up on 2 years this Summer and the divorce legally finalized 1 year ago. ExW's been living with OM2 for more than a year and a half in a house she bought across the street from his sister.
I was really crushing it the second half of 2021 - firing on all cylinders - but have felt a little slide in the last few months of 2022. Still a fantastic father and doing well at work, but feeling a bit more worn down, not getting to the gym, pausing grad school...etc. I've had guilt about the situation for the kids (despite not being my choice) and overcompensating there, bending over backwards to flex out of work and be as involved as possible - a good thing - but also need to make my own self-care a priority as well (E.g., put your oxygen mask on first). Did not to date until after D was official - moral thing for me and my kids - and only one date since, so not much to report there. Still have anger in terms of ExW and OM2 living with my kids, mostly when it's in my face.
1 year officially divorced as of last week, an appropriate occasion to start a new thread...
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
