It's been 10 days of relative peace (including an unexpected positive re-revision of one part of our MR) until today morning. She has snapped (understatement) at me many times during the last 10 days but I was always able to use boundary enforcement effectively.
You say 10 days of "relative peace", but also that she's snapped at you many times. Doesn't sound peaceful.
Thats why I said relative peace. I have been able to enforce boundaries, there have been only two outbursts (including once in the car). She had been doing positive things like planning outings and being warm. She has also initiated sex (although she said she does not want to) and re-revised certain things to positive after making them negative post-BD. Yet, I had been expecting a run back to her castle, but I was not expecting it to happen with so much force and venom.
Originally Posted by PeterB
"You have done nothing good for me after I said I want divorce".
I wanted to revisit this statement here. What is she expecting - for me to beg her to stay or shower her with affection and other things? Any suggested response to this?
Originally Posted by BL42
No idea what the messages say, but you're smart for focusing on your son and waiting. I wouldn't respond emotionally, IF at all. Unless there's a critical item about your son, it's unlikely you need to / should respond.
Just read her messages. It's the same things said during BD but with more venom and swearing. Repeated that she is over me several times. And re-telling a quote that she had found in a 'women's magazine' that converts this into a duel and that she can't let me win as it would mean she has handed me power over her and her happiness (if anyone knows that quote, please DO NOT post it here as it can appear in search engines). She also repented that she did not D soon after BD and that I am moving on as if her misery never happened, that I have done no self-reflection. All this is pretty much a 180 behavior from yesterday. Note that post-BD and pre-DB, I had written detailed emails and has long discussions about my self-reflection and validating whatever she said.
At least to me, I know I have done deep self-reflection and owned up genuinely to all my mistakes. I did not ask her to listen to my side of the story. I entered a continuous journey of self-improvement, and I am happy about that. I have also forgiven her for her mistakes and myself for my mistakes and that has given me peace.
I have not responded to these messages. It's possible that she will blow up again at not getting a response.
