It's been 10 days of relative peace (including an unexpected positive re-revision of one part of our MR) until today morning. She has snapped (understatement) at me many times during the last 10 days but I was always able to use boundary enforcement effectively. Once she cornered me while driving back at night with my son sleeping in the rear seat. I tried to enforce boundary, but she was not interested and continued to bash me. After that I completely stopped responding even with uhms/nods/okays etc, for the rest of the distance - about 10 mins or so. She stopped. Back at home I communicated calmly whatever minimum was required to wind up for the night. She was angry inside but didn't escalate further. Any advice what to do when she starts disrespectful conduct while I am driving?
Fast forward to today morning and she ran as fast as she can into her castle while throwing Molotov Cocktails at my lawn. Let me walk you through.
Yesterday she suggested we go out somewhere and we did. Just before leaving she snapped at me on a ridiculous topic - apparently, I didn't put on the right pants on my son. She quickly got pretty nasty I didn't bite. The rest of the day went nicely, and she even showed what could have been affection. After coming back, we were all resting when she came into my room and started a discussion. She went over our revised marriage. She went on for about 15 mins while I listened. I validated about two times and finally excused myself.
During the discussion she admitted that she was nasty in the morning. I could easily sense that she didn't have one bit of remorse and didn't apologize (not that I asked for one). Instead, she blamed her behavior on me and said that she is the worst form of herself around me. She said how she was confused but she is full of bitterness towards me that she cannot overcome. She also wondered aloud if she should consider staying in this M with no real love, but still have a great time by living together and 'coparenting'. She also made excuses for having sex with me by telling me about a bit of knowledge gained from a 'women's magazine', that pre-divorce sex is common and awesome, it means nothing, and the girl should eventually be strong enough to D. Then she dropped ILYBINILWY. The one-sided chat ended cordially after a bit. Today was supposed to be her 'me' day so she reminded me of that after dinner and then told me that I should watch him after breakfast while she leaves for the day.
Today morning I woke up and was making breakfast for all three of us. I decided to feed him breakfast too as I planned up my day around him. But no sooner than she saw me making breakfast for him she blew up saying that she did not get a good night's sleep and that I should have slept with him. Started swearing at me in front of my son and chased me around while I left the scene. Things such as this were said - "Fu*k this marriage, I don't fu*king care", "You know what let's get a D tomorrow", "You have done nothing good for me after I said I want divorce".
I was eventually able to lose her by going to the garage after she forcefully prevented me from feeding him breakfast. All the while she screamed that I do not do anything meaningful for my son (which has been a familiar accusation after BD). She said that she spends the whole day with him and that she needs a break. All this is so mindboggling that I am not going to spend time here writing about it. She also repeatedly accused me of making her a bad person and shouted that she wants a D asap. She also made vomiting sounds to express her disgust of me and that she can't stand it when I am near her. I did not respond to any of these. After breakfast I took my son to a room to play with him and she suddenly reappeared and started off again. I left the room, and she didn't follow this time.
While I was working out in the garage, I found out that she wrote me about 15 messages. Then she left the house for her 'me' day and then wrote more messages. I have not read any of them and have spent quality time with my son (she knows I have not read them as its Whatsapp), until a break to write this up.
