Let her be as angry as she wants. Show her you can "handle" her emotions. You stay calm and listen. Switch your thought process from arguing or justifying to She wants to be heard and understood.
Don't want to hijack TT180's thread but I think this is great advice for him or for anybody. We often get into situations where this is required. I have entirely stopped arguing or justifying. Making her feel heard is a subtle skill however, as disrespect needs to be identified on-time and our boundaries need to be maintained.
Originally Posted by kml
Just trying to hold up a mirror of what "normal" behavior would look like.
Thanks. It takes some slo-mo but we have to do this analysis (later if not in real-time) as to what is normal / reasonable and how far away from normal, the behaviors were. This is important when a R is on the downward spiral and when leading to or during piecing. However, in general we cannot let abnormal behavior affect us - this is a test of detachment imho.
