I even feel weird when a friend lets say gives me a drink. I feel like I need to give them one back very soon.
My parents would always say to my brothers and I, I did something for you (make food, wash our clothes, drive us somewhere) that we had to do something for them.
To be clear, explicit contracts are fine--
"I'll buy drinks this time, if you buy drinks next time." "I'll drive you to the concert if you wash my car."
The core idea of No More Mr. Nice Guy is to avoid implicit contracts, where you buy a drink or wash a car without making any sort of deal and then expect a reward. And, of course, contracts involving love or sex are icky!
Originally Posted by Wolfman
If I am not intimate with my partner for a while (a month or more) I start to become very angry. I start to feel like whats wrong with me, why is she not attracted to me, it just really bothers me. How do i cope with that anger?
When someone says no, I sometimes feel disappointed, but can't recall anger.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
why is she not attracted to me,
Few men can say MOST women are attracted to them. Fewer still can say MOST women are attracted to them all the time. I get sadness, disappointment, neglect, and even shame. Your desire went unfulfilled. What is the root of your anger? Understanding why you're getting angry might help you avoid it rather than just manage it.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
Then I dont want to do anything for her. Please help me with this!!! I know this hurt my marriage too.
Don't do things that you'll regret if she says no to sex. Do do things you feel like doing because you love her, you value her, she's your best friend, she's a fellow human being, etc.
