Brave Little Gerda Knows More Now

[Rita]

Hello, Friends. I have been working so much I haven't had time for an update post or even to pop in on anyone else's thread. I hope everyone is doing okay.

Today would have been my 22nd wedding annivesary.

Actually, it is my 22nd wedding anniversary. I am still in divorce purgatory. But I start to think that this year it will finally happen.

sjohn/Sam -- wow, that is really really nice of you to say. It is always astonishing to hear things like that, not that I hear things like that almost ever. I think your post will get deleted but I copied the info already.

I will write an update very soon but wanted to just say to Sage how incredibly powerful and meaningful and amazing was your message to me. I read it right then but thought I should go back to my Lent fast and not reply. I will treasure that post forever in so many ways. I printed it out and sent a copy to two of my best friends and they agreed that you are a woman we would want to know. Please copy sjohns msn and crumb me a way!

DnJ, yes, you got it exactly. I was that low. These days I am not that low. As you say, feelings are fleeting. Or rather, I thought less about what caused that feeling and it mostly went away. Though I watched some of the Depp trial, somehow very cathartic or comforting to me, and I must say that watching Amber H is exactly like watching my H.

And Eagle, thank you too for your compassion. I read yours back when you wrote it too and it made me feel so supported just that you knew how sad I was.

I will write an update soon but for now -- you will all be glad to know I hired a lawyer. It's a funny story of how I found him, for next post. That last horrific conference during Lent showed me that I would not be able to think clearly enough in court anymore to be an effective lawyer for myself. I am really glad I was pro se for so long and I did quite well at it but this new judge is too much for me. I have no savings left, all went to lawyer, but I am happy to not have to work so hard anymore and to have space in my head not taken up with anxiety about writing motions and answering motions and preparing appeals and preparing for a trial.

XO from Gerda