Wolfman moving forward2

[Dawn70]

You are receiving great comments, Wolf. I totally agree with OwnIt's overall point that it is NOT the job of a therapist to decide which person is right then convince the other person. Therapists should be impartial and help both parties find a middle ground. If someone has a therapist who is trying to tell someone they are right and convince the other person, that just sounds like bad therapy to me...but that is my own personal opinion.

I really just wanted to say a couple of things that a few others have already said too. First, you say, Wolf, that physical touch is your love language, but gf accuses you of only wanting sex when you mention that. While sex is obviously physical touch, physical touch can also be a wide variety of things from hand holding to hugging to just being near enough to put your hands on each other in a reassuring, affectionate way, but not a groping, need sex now kind of way. It concerns me that you've not had sex in a year, because honestly Wolf, I have lived that life in a relationship and it takes its toll. To me, all of this says more about the lack of communication you have with gf than anything else, so maybe counseling would do you both good in helping you learn to communicate more effectively. Having said that, though, I completely agree with LH's last comment. If your gf is interested in counseling and working on the relationship, it will be a good thing. If she's not interested, well, it would really be a waste of time and money. You can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves so if you are willing to work and she's not, it is kind of fighting a losing battle and you might be better off to cut your losses.

I think it was kml who kind of laid out your situation that your gf is much younger than you and you were questioning whether you even wanted to stay in it with her and then she got pregnant "accidentally" (there are LOTS of ways to prevent that!). That her own father asked how you deal with her is telling of how she is and what it tells me is that the men in her life have always catered to her and she's done whatever she wanted.

You seem to criticize her parenting a lot, but again, I think it was kml who pointed out that SHE is the boots on the ground when it comes to raising your child so yeah, she probably does have a little more skin in the game, so to speak. That doesn't mean that you aren't also the child's parent and that your feelings aren't valid. Just try to see it from her point of view. She's in a high stress situation, you are in a high stress situation, and y'all need to learn how to work through it together. It seems unreasonable to me that she would expect you to prioritize her child differently than your other children, but as unreasonable as it seems, I can also kind of see where she is coming from. Now, I don't think she's right, but I just kind of "get it" so to speak.

What it all boils down to, in my opinion, is y'all need to communicate better.