TT you may want to check out the detachment thread. It get the feeling you are not quite sure what it means. You don’t read it in a book and do it. It’s a state of mind that eventually will happen. It’s rare anyone becomes detached in IHS.
What do you mean you don’t support the kids?
Specifically, not cooking enough. I do spend tons of time with them, since BD I've shuffled my work to look after D2. Not because it helps her, but I get more time. I do support them with extra-circular activities, and I've recently volunteered at my S sports day. So I can manage that.
I'm mixing detachment with 180. What I'm trying to say, is how to 180 with respect to vulnerability and communication in the current climate? Valeska19 has called it out, validation, which I'm doing and focusing on, and listening (when she wants to talk). I feel the real work for me can only happen after IHS.
For detachment, we've talked about this quite a bit in my multiple threads were I would worry about her reaction, instead of focusing on what is good for me. And yeah, IHS makes it hard. As I said, outwardly I've never been upset, or argue, despite how I feel on the inside.
I chatted with a different L and he recommended I leave the house (in Aus it doesn't make a difference to claims). I'm thinking for my mental health, I'm going to have to. But for that to happen, I need to work out a parenting plan.
