This is where detachment is money. Detaching your thoughts, feelings and responses from her words and deeds. Not easy, admittedly, but if you keep working on it the first time that you have that first "I don't care about her reaction" moment, it will be so empowering and freeing that the next time you are in a similar situation it is just that much easier!
You've got this toughttimes. You are doing a lot of things right. Clean up a few more things and you will become a DBing ninja!!
Thanks. Yeah, the fact I'm finding it difficult shows I'm not fully there. What has helped recently is the STBXW found a legal book which talked about detachment, and she's now doing the same. She still has anger in her tone, but she has backed off quite a bit. It might also mean a tougher negotiation . . . But one thing at a time.
Originally Posted by Valeska19
It's actually a little of both. Are there things she complained about you that are valid?
Yes and no. The valid complaints are around supporting the kids, so I'm working to lift that. Communicating, I'm trying to improve, but she has the same problem. Again, putting things on email helps. The last issue is not being close and vulnerable. I don't know how that could ever be addressed in DB scenario.
