toughtimes, a lot of us LBSs struggled with the "she is being nice, she likes me!" and the "she is being mean she hates me!" thing.

The key is that you do what is best for you and your kids. Her reactions are immaterial.

But please have a high bar for her to return. sandi used to say a WW needed to be remorseful for their waywardness. Lots of WSs have returned the LBS because the A with OM flamed out. Coming back to plan B, as a fall back, is not what you are going for here. You seem to have a handle on this, but then you say things like "I get it, I'm not to care about her reaction. I'm just finding it all very draining."

Want to hear something frustrating and uplifting at the same time: you get to CHOOSE what her reactions do to you. I know that is a shocking revelation, but it is true. When a LBS comes to an epiphany like that it can be freeing. I say it is frustrating because most LBSs struggle because they are too reactive and impulsive. When my W would react poorly to me, I struggled with that too. But the minute I remembered I was in control of my own thought and feelings I could easily separate them from her reaction. This is where detachment is money. Detaching your thoughts, feelings and responses from her words and deeds. Not easy, admittedly, but if you keep working on it the first time that you have that first "I don't care about her reaction" moment, it will be so empowering and freeing that the next time you are in a similar situation it is just that much easier!

You've got this toughttimes. You are doing a lot of things right. Clean up a few more things and you will become a DBing ninja!!

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018