I have expressed to her my love language is touch, but all I get when I say anything which is rare, all I care about is $ex and that she is emotionally not there.
Sex and physical touch are not the same things. Clarify to her that you're talking about handholding, hugging, snuggling etc. Also - what are HER love languages and are you speaking them?
As for the nap debate - an exhausted mom caring full time for a toddler (the HARDEST job I have ever done, and that's saying a lot!) is not going to think you correcting her about nap time is helpful. You may have had kids before but she is the one on the ground doing the work during the day. I can see where she would object to your input on that, especially if it makes her feel like you are coming off as a know-it-all (and unless you were the primary caretaker home full-time with your other two kids when they were this age, you DON'T know it all and are just comparing what she does with what your exW did, which is gonna come off even worse).
As for the bigger picture - does she even express wanting to be in a relationship with you in the future, or do you think she is just staying for now because it's the only practical thing financially? Do you think she will be open to couples counseling?
