Cheaters Gonna Cheat

[Dawn70]

Sounds like your son made a wise choice to pull back from the relationship. Communication is SO important in a relationship and not being able to settle arguments in a healthy way would be tough for me. Calling him an "unhinged white guy" just seems out there, but I know a lot of people "fight" that way and I just don't get it. Interestingly, Sparky and I were just talking about how people fight yesterday because he said his mother had asked him if we ever fight. We've had disagreements that we talked through, but we have never had a huge, blow-out fight. Apparently his mom and dad fought a lot and to hear Sparky's version, it is because his mother was just downright unreasonable about everything and would just push and push and push until his dad couldn't take it anymore then he'd blow up. I suspect Sparky is a lot like that. I can definitely see where his mom would be a button pusher because she does it to Sparky. The difference is that Sparky and I talk through things and we NEVER get nasty. Apparently his mom is one of those bile unleashers when she's upset (and I have witnessed it toward him) like your son's xgf. I have just never been that way. Like I said, Sparky and I disagree but I would NEVER call him a name. That was part of our conversation...I might jokingly call him an a-hole or more likely a smart a$$ (both of which he readily admits to being), but I would never do it in the heat of argument when it could be taken in a harmful way. His mom is just astounded that we don't fight, but we're both older and have honed our communication skills so it isn't necessary for us to argue much. We can disagree and talk about what we disagree about in a respectful and civilized manner.