Thanks. It's a work in progress. Not that I'm trying to impress to win her back, or to be sorry for everything (which is the old MNG dynamic). It's about how I can be a better partner/room-mate.
She wants to have a chat tomorrow. I said yes, so long as we agree on the topics. I suggested let's talk parenting plan. She immediately replied, "maybe it's best to navigate this alone, so let's just communicate with experts, like mediation."
This is the dynamic we have, I assert a boundary that she doesn't like, and then reacts strongly. It's how I fell into the MNG for so long. Actually, in couples therapy, it came out we hardly communicated about any major life decision, let alone the small stuff. So basically we are forced to make up for 10+ years of lack of communication.
I suggest this is my response:
I understand you feel that you can't trust me, we're still trying to sort out the best communication path forward. I'm still open to any offer to chat.
How about:
"Ok. Sounds good. I'll have my lawyer contact you."
But then ALSO don't have any chat at all. Keep it all through lawyers.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
