Maybe it's just where I am in the process, but it seems more nauseating and emotionally manipulative to me than touching. Why would you thank someone for creating a wonderful family...which you're actively working to break apart?
It's possible it's a manipulation attempt. It's also possible she feels gratitude towards the father of her children for helping to create and raise them, and getting an "XH" card was an attempt to avoid any misinterpretation.
I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say it's not conscious. But based on her personality, it could be a way of pacifying after realizing I'm standing up. She will vacillate from rage (potentially narcissistic in nature), to calming and friendly. Which I guess is manipulation, conscious or not doesn't make a difference.
Conscious or not, this is exactly why, with a WS in particular, you cannot focus on them. WSs are the flakiest of all creatures on God's green earth. I tell this story all the time. I had a discussion with my WW in the height of her waywardness. All of the behavior she was exhibiting with her EA with OM, then getting on dating sights, and sending messages to guys that were 20 years younger than her, etc. And I said, is that really what you want? I will never forget her response. "I have no idea what I want or what I am doing!" It was a rare moment of honesty from a WW. They do not know what they are doing. They are running on pure emotion. Their feelings change from moment to moment, and their actions and behavior follow.
So yes it is manipulation because at any given moment she feels either rage or sweetness will get her what she wants. There is no consistency, which is why the LBS has to be a rock. You have to be rock solid in your consistency. The moment you capitulate to one of those behaviors then you just taught her that all she has to do is get angry, get sweet, cry, etc to get her way.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
