I'm Back after 1st DB (4)

[BL42]

toughtimes180,

And her parenting plan is that she wants specific days, and I allow her to come play with the kids for a few hours on my days.

This is unlikely to work in the long term. Your days are your days and her day are her days. Carving out hours in your day is a logistical nightmare. Plus, what happens when one or both of you start dating? I wouldn't advise agreeing to anything in writing that allows her hours on your days, unless it's something well defined and specific such as an off-week dinner.

So today I drafted a detailed 10 page parenting plan as I want it

10 pages sounds burdensome...and extremely difficult to enforce. In the end you two will manage the kids during your time how you see fit. You're not going to be able to control things going forward.

I'm guessing she'll make some excuse since responding is in the too hard basket.

Lots of speculation on her thoughts and response. Try not to waste headspace on this. Focus on yourself.

I am considering another L though that prepares proforma settlements. There is aspect that she might be right on. The majority of equity in our house is based on investments she brought to the M. My L said it doesn't matter, but there is a few case laws that show it might.

Rely on your legal counsel as to what you are or are not entitled to. I don't know Australian law, but if buying the house was a long time ago and the assets are comingled it may now be considered martial property and you may be entitled to half. Take what you legally deserve.

This is how she is trying to leverage a bigger share.

It doesn't matter what she's trying to leverage, only what the law says...unless you agree to it in negotiations.

I did ask her for the value of her investments at the time of M, but she of course refused to provide.

Why even bother asking her? She'll have to provide documented evidence to argue it as a pre-martial asset.

The mediation she wants specifically states you need legal advice before participating. She's cheap, she'll probably opt for legal aid which hopefully means they'll ground her expectations.

Again wasting time and thoughts on what she might or might not do.

toughtimes180 - You're struggling with the inability to control things and spending a lot of time speculating on what W thinks. It might help if you to redirect the speculation and focus on her onto yourself and learn ways to let go of your perception of control. Also, way too much communication about the divorce negotiations IMO.