toughtimes, unfortunately these things have a way of escalating anyway. Especially as you refuse to give into her every demand, this will make her raise the stakes. You are in a good place by having a lawyer already. So many LBSs try to tread these things without one. But her response in that email is part and parcel of what I am talking about. Lots of WASs act like spoiled children. Demanding what they want then throwing a fit when they do not get it. We had one LBH here whose WW was especially like that. After she left and moved in with OM, she show up at the house demanding things she'd abandoned. At one point she even tried to break in to the house. Do not underestimate the lengths LBSs will go to try to get their way. You've already tasted that with her scathing email.

So deferring to your lawyer may feel like escalation. Really all it is you protecting yourself. And there is nothing wrong with that.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018