I'm Back after 1st DB (3)

[SteveLW]

Yeah, I'm down today. She emailed me a scathing 2 page emotional rant about how I'm greedy, don't respect her contribution, and more. Then she's demanding a parenting plan with flexibility. Essentially no negotiation. It's sad, I'm going to have to sit on this knowing we're going to have to go to mediation. I talked to L again, and he made it clear she doesn't understand.

It certainly validates what I've felt during the marriage, no compromise.

This is called "pushing your buttons". The way you respond is to take the button away. This is where emotional detachment is pure gold. I like the "sit on this" plan. NO RESPONSE. She expected you to react. Anger, bitterness, sadness, begging. Anything. By just simply no responding to it you are taking the button away.

When the time is right then:

I’m not in Australia, but in my mediation, we had a mediator, but my ex and I each had our own attorney on the outside that we consulted with between sessions.

You want her to have her own attorney when the time comes, someone who can tell her what is and isn’t reasonable. Basically their job was to let us know what a judge would probably decide if we went to court. If her expectations are unreasonable they will let her know.

Meanwhile, stop negotiating with her. Just say “I’ll discuss this with my attorney”. She’s trying to bully you into giving her everything she wants.

I think there are those kinds of mediations as well. Mostly I've seen don't have lawyers, some even forbid it. There are some run by trained family lawyers, but don't know if they give legal advice, or say anything if one party is completely unrealistic.

I might consider this option if things don't go anywhere.

I know where I stand. I paid for an asset assessment which makes a recommendation based on historical family law cases. And what that showed was aligned with what L said.

kml is right on here. Your response: "I might consider this option if things don't go anywhere." Huh? I think the rant written in the third person (yeah that isn't crazy) is 'things not going anywhere!" ScottB just went through mediation. His now ExW used mediation to still try to get everything she wanted, just like kml says here. I cannot imagine a mediation that forbids letting you get your own legal advice. That is nutso crazy town. I wouldn't agree to that kind of mediation if I were you.