Sunday night we exchanged the kids. When I was leaving W said goodbye and I was getting in the car in silence. She told me, this, you not talking to me, is what is hurting our kids. I gave her a look of disagreement and left. Is she right and I am mistaken?
Yes!
Originally Posted by Pack
I know saying hello and goodbye wont change anything but it just does not come natural to fake it. I am ok to fake politeness at work, on social events and so on, but as I get to know the man I want to be I do not want that in my private and close relationships.
Could you make KINDNESS one of your virtues? I'll give two examples from my weekend.
1. I ran a social event this weekend and was polite to hundreds of people, even a couple of whom I don't particularly admire. "You look tired, would you like a cold drink?"
2. Sunday was Mother's Day in the USA. When I met my XW I thanked her for all the wonderful things she'd done this year as a mother and hugged her. She teared up.
These kindnesses cost little but define who I am as a person.
Originally Posted by Pack
Should I eat my pride and be nice to her when we exchange the kids?
If perhaps the above doesn't work for you--no judgment, we all have different values--could you take PRIDE in doing what's best for your kids even if it's not what Pack would otherwise do? You're that dreaded "Nice Guy" if you expect doing this will win her back or gain you anything else. You're a "Good Guy" if you do this because it's kind and/or best for your children.
