hi Pack. Do the kids see you and wife not speaking? First of all a 1 year old isn't going to be aware of words/lack of words so much as vibe/body language/sense tension from parents. A 6 year old may/may not pick up on words/lack of words but will potentially be much more aware of vibe though probably won't be able to pinpoint exactly what's going on.

Don't let your W manipulate you by using the children as a weapon or tool.

That said, I think you have to behave in a way that is authentic to who you are, your beliefs, your core values. I also think that it never hurts to be polite.

What helped me was this thought: I would imagine fast forwarding to my son being 30 years old. At that time, what did I want my son to say about how I behaved during the separation/divorce? My answer was always the same: I wanted him to say that his mom had not only always put his wellbeing first, but also took the high road. That was my guiding influence.

I hope this helps.

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver