So after first W I spent three years alone actually and then dated here and there but nothing much. Current W and I spent years chatting online but didn't date or even get together. Just that person you could talk to about your troubles. Before we got together I had a surplus of time on my hands and spent it being out with kids and was in better shape than now. Spent a lot more time on being a better version of me. I can see your point there. Over these years my time has become more and more invested in working and responsibilities. Less to be attracted to and now my few days off I'm not really that motivated anymore to get up and do anything of value. Our schedules these days are so opposite and she is full time school while working nights at a hospital.
Bunches, thanks for the additional insight. You spent 3 years alone after your first marriage, so you know that if you have to do that again, you will survive. Early on in these situations we think that our MR is life and death, and it really is not. You know this more than most.
Another thought ran through my head reading your thread from 8 years ago. I didn't really see you DBing. I see you updating on interactions with your then W (no Ex) and then you went dark and didn't come back until your new thread about marriage #2. Have you read Divorce Busting and/or Divorce Remedy? Do you want to put the principles in place to see where things go? It is a lot of work. More work than most of us LBSs had put into our marriage for the years leading up to our problems. But all of the advice you got in the first thread 8 years ago remains. You cannot control her. You cannot snap your fingers and fix this. You cannot nice her back, or treat her like a new girlfriend to woo her back. You have to change your behavior and approach to change your dynamics. Focus off of her, remove all pressure and pursuit, go out and GAL, work on self-improvements (active on this forum, get into IC, read DB/DR and other books, etc), and work on emotionally detaching from her. Concentrating on those things might make a difference. Learn from the failure of 8 years ago to become the best version of yourself you can be. Become a man only a fool would leave!
So, what are your plans for tonight? Tomorrow? Thursday? Friday? and Saturday? Be a father first, but when you aren't being a father be out leaving a fun, fulfilled, exciting life!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
