Feels like failure again

[Bunches]

So after first W I spent three years alone actually and then dated here and there but nothing much. Current W and I spent years chatting online but didn't date or even get together. Just that person you could talk to about your troubles. Before we got together I had a surplus of time on my hands and spent it being out with kids and was in better shape than now. Spent a lot more time on being a better version of me. I can see your point there. Over these years my time has become more and more invested in working and responsibilities. Less to be attracted to and now my few days off I'm not really that motivated anymore to get up and do anything of value. Our schedules these days are so opposite and she is full time school while working nights at a hospital.