What you say may be right for the average case but this is clearly not a "typical" case since her exH slept with someone else the night before his wedding.
No I agree with the wedding night affair. I was talking more about his third affair when he left for good. I am sticking to my statements as I have done a lot of research on the subject.
Statistical research focuses on the mean and median not the outliers.
Having sex with someone else the night before your wedding is usually an indicator of psychological problems. In many such cases, the person finds a reason to be unhappy (aka justify the affair) despite the best efforts of their spouse.
Originally Posted by kml
MLCxH I don't believe most affairs arise out of anger, or any of the other things LH quoted.
I agree with what you are trying to say. Technically, an argument can indeed be made that anger and unhappiness are what lead to affairs in many cases. However, a person can be unhappy or angry despite the best efforts of their spouse. In many cases it may have nothing to do with the spouse and the person just rewrites history to project the cause of anger/unhappiness onto their spouse.
Originally Posted by kml
Sometimes (as in my ex's case) it's an indicator of a dark triad personality disorder as well.
I know many excellent people, here and elsewhere, who did nothing to deserve their spouses cheating except to be a little too trusting.
Correct. How many times have we seen advice being given on this forum that the problems of a WAS are theirs alone and there is not much the LBS can do except focus on their healing?
Originally Posted by LH19
Affairs are symptoms of underlying problems. Those are the facts and they can not be refuted.
Yes, but it can be a problem with the person having the affair with the spouse having only a minor part to play, if at all.
