Husband MLC/Carzy

[BL42]

Stella20,

Are you gearing up for an actual trial or is it likely you'll settle? My experience, and from what I've heard from others, is things usually speed up as the trial date gets closer. Months out you might be exchanging communications every couple weeks or once a month but then the week or two before it's rapid fire as no one (plaintiff, defendant, attorneys, or judge) want to spend time and money going to trial over items which should be reasonably agreed to between the two parties.

Think of everything as a negotiation. You and H can agree on almost any result. If there is a strong disagreement you can't compromise on then maybe you'll have to go to trial but that seems unlikely based on your thread. It doesn't sound like a battle over custody, just a simple division of assets, and so the legal costs of going to trial may unweigh any benefits of not compromising.

You don't HAVE to have an appraisal. My ExW and I didn't. I was keeping the house and she offered an estimate well below purchase price let alone market value...so my L and I quickly jumped on the offer. If you propose a value or you let H propose a value you two can agree without any professional assessment. However, you may not feel confident in your own ability to value the property and more comfort getting an expert's opinion. Also if you go to trial you'll need evidence to prove your point so both parties might bring in their own appraisal and the judge can rule on it.

I do want to keep the house for now, I can not take anymore change right now. Can I delay the appraisal if I am staying in the house?? Or does it need to be done before the court date

How long would this delay be? Is the market value really going to shift that dramatically in a few weeks? Usually appraisals are built on comparisons to recently sold and it seems like it would take awhile to make a significant difference, but I'm not a real estate expert.

And I assume the cost would be taken out of the 401k split

Again, it's all a negotiation. They'll create a balance sheet to net out the cash. You could give up some of your 401k to defray the equity if H agrees. Just be wary of mortgaging your future by giving up retirement funds. I'm not sure your financial position but I'd personally deal with the cash and retirement separately and not sacrifice the retirement accounts.