I'm Back after 1st DB (3)

[SteveLW]

Fark, IHS DBing is mentally exhausting. I've had the perfect db day. Delaying the response to smses, ignoring pointless messages, setting boundaries on vague requests for child minding, ignoring subtly hostile comments, rebuffed attempts at emotional unloads, and dealing with 30 minutes of her just disappearing in her room while I look after baby. At least I got awesome quality kid time while avoiding her company.

I'm actually wondering at some point, for my sanity, I should leave. I'm not there yet, but I still can't eat much, and have trouble sleeping.

tough, I know it is difficult, and I can relate. However, over time, it does get easier. IHS does require a level of discipline that most of us do not have. In my case I was terrible for the first 6-8 weeks. Then the pendulum begun to swing back. Where initially I was 10% of the time decent at DBing, and 90% awful at it, by 3 months in had started to get towards 90% being decent and 10% awful.

Here is the thing, you have to stay busy. GAL is not a nice-to-have. It is a must. That's why the general advice for LBSs, especially in IHS, is to get a childcare schedule in place, and then when it isn't your turn, you are out GAL. I used to have to repeat this a lot on the forum, but: Those that struggle the most do GAL the worst. If you continue to struggle and you don't start getting to 50%-50% on the ratio above then you probably aren't GAL enough. I believe that GAL is foundation on which self-improvement and detachment are built. The better the LBS gets at GAL the better they DB.

So just keep working. Leaving, while a band aid, opens up a lot of other issues that a lot of LBSs have to deal with. It is not the panacea that those in IHS often think it is.