The last few days EXH is unfortunately more present in my mind.
Seeing the spendings that he was doing with OW2 again, the fact that he would most probably take her to his family for the first time.
Today it is Mother's Day. EXH's mother had invited all her children for brunch at a restaurant. I had asked our children if they wanted to go too but they refused as their father was going to be there. I kindly informed her that the children were not going to be there, and that it would better to do this another time with them. Got no response from her.
Apparently she's obsessed with OW2 to meet her and so she had insisted that she would come along.
SIL confirmed to me today that she was actually there...
I won't lie, something snapped inside me and I've cried, cried like I haven't cried in months anymore.
Why the hell does this still hurt me so much?
I have a very close relationship with all of his family (with the exception of MIL who I have more or less banned since last year due to her sociopathic behaviour) I can't seem to get over the fact that I have now been permanently replaced. Not in their eyes of course, I know they will always be in my lives, they are truly good people, but it will never be the way it was and that hurts, much more then I suspected.
To me this feels like the final end, there is no way back now. I always felt that he was with those OWs to make himself feel better, that they were a symptom of his mental health issues. He's also always kept his OWs hidden from everyone, and to me this was a sign that he didn't loose it completely, that he still cared about our feelings, so why bring her out now?
