For me and Sparky, our timeline was about 6 months to ILY, started talking about marriage around 10 months, got engaged at 11 months, then married a year after our engagement. Too fast? Some here would say yes, others would say no. It was worked for us and that is what matters
That sounds about right Dawn - at 2 years you knew him well enough to marry. But when you said ILY at 6 months, would you have felt obligated to stay in the relationship if you discovered a dealbreaker, just because you’d said ILY? Again - where on the spectrum of dealbreakers would your breaking point be? I’m pretty sure if you’d discovered he was a pedophile you wouldn’t stay and work it out at that 6 month mark. You might or might not try to work it out if he was unfaithful, although I would argue that would be a bad idea with our histories. Everybody has a dealbreaker.
As G already pointed out, financial snafus and pedophilia are wildly different issues. Of course everyone has deal breakers and nowhere did I ever say or even indicate that I didn’t. Of course I would end a relationship if a deal breaker popped up even after I’d said ILY. What would that be, outside of the obvious illegal situations? Well, honestly, it would depend on the person. Infidelity is absolutely a deal breaker for me. Drug or alcohol abuse, stealing, being a deadbeat dad….all deal breakers.
OBVIOUSLY many of us would end a relationship after ILY or we wouldn’t even be here. We wouldn’t be divorced. Bttrfly is so right that love morphs. It changes over time as partners grow either toward or away from each other.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
