Ok G - then if you said ILU after, say, 6 months of dating, and then discovered your beloved was a gambling addict, would you stay? What if they were a pedophile? Obviously everybody has some kind of dealbreaker that would cause us to break off a dating relationship even if we had said ILU. . Yet waiting to say ILU until you were fairly certain that there were no dealbreakers lurking would take at least two years I think. Does that mean you shouldn’t say ILU until you’ve been together 2 years? That would seem very far out of the norm.
How far into the relationship have you said ILU, G? If you found out a boyfriend had cheated on you one year into a relationship where you had already said ILU, would you feel obligated to work it out with him?
I don’t equate a bad weekend and financial responsibility with finding out someone is a pedophile or an addict! Illegal and stinks at managing money are no where on the same level.
I have said “I love you “ with 2 people only. First, my exH, who didn’t exchange those words with me for TWO years. He knows saying that would lead me to believe in commitment and he wanted mess around. The second time, kind of soon, 3 months in. He said it first. And guess what he did? He took it back! And it crushed me. Number 3 was M, we were 6 months in. Him first. And yeah, he didn’t take that word very seriously either.
I also agree that there are no rules regarding the timing of saying I love yous. It works different for everyone. I just chose to live it when I say it.
Texan and I had a weekend away together. We hit a similar bit different snafu that K and CW did. But we addressed it right on the spot . Talked it out, came up with a plan and ended up having a fantastic fun time together. We didn’t want to end anything over it . We just communicated.
