The mood was so cold, I said I'm not attending the school function.
Consider adding some calming techniques to your repertoire. There are apps like Headspace, stress balls, etc. Driving solo may have helped. You likely don't want to back out of functions related to your kids. Being the parent who knew the teachers and other parents and their friends definitely had advantages for me related to custody, control, and closeness to my children. Unless you want your STBXW to be the primary for those. My XW is totally fine with that.
