EO, Here is something that I do that might work for you. I just tell him straight up that I am experiencing some weird feelings. For instance, I might say: "Honey, I am starting to feel some resentful feelings creeping back in today. I don't know where they are coming from but I am struggling today and I need you to help me from giving in to them. Let's go do such-and-such." When he sees me trying to overcome my pissiness he is MUCH more apt to be sympathetic and want to spend some QT with me. If I simply told him about the resentment he would feel attacked and as if he could never do anything right. This way, he realizes that Yes he may have let me down in the past and that I am still struggling with it, but that we are a TEAM now and that we can work through it in a positive and cheerful way.
The absolute worst thing, for me, is to try and "stuff" the feelings and tell myself that I am being unreasonable. After all, I don't listen to H so why would I listen to myself, LOL. If I just say it out loud and ask for his help, I have found that all of a sudden the burden is lifted and I can see things much more clearly.
One more thing: It is a subtle and gentle wake up call that maybe he is not doing everything that he could be doing. I don't think that my H (or yours) is malicious but they do sometimes forget or lose track of the fact that is it necessary for them to contribute daily to the R.
