I was out to dinner with one of my partners when we started talking about love. We recognized that we loved each other but that it didn’t have to mean anything grand. We weren’t in a super commitment kind of place and that was perfectly okay. Our love for each other felt comfortable and at that moment, it worked for us. Neither of us was offended; we were actually very content.
A lot of the time, saying I love you to a partner seems to come with expectations. You love me so now we have to take things to the next level. You love me so this is definitely going to a “marriage, kids, lifetime commitment” kind of place. That stuff is all beautiful, of course, and if that’s where saying I love you takes you, then I’m so happy for you. It doesn’t always have to be that way, though. Sometimes love can just be love.
Sometimes we say I love you because we just can’t hold it in anymore. We don’t know exactly where it’s going but we know that love is here, now, and not saying it is just too much effort to keep up with.
I love you is always a gift, but it means different things to different people at different times. I'm sure CMM's meaning was different 2-3 years in than it was 2-3 weeks in. I like that K told me explicitly what she meant--I was her joy, her happy place after a tough week. I wouldn't assume ILU entails a commitment anymore than that sex implies exclusivity. These are situations where a simple talk with you partner can ensure you're both on the same page which is what truly matters.
