We ML last night with my husband initiating. We're back to where we were BK (before kids) as far as frequency and using different positions and techniques in each session, but we're also seeing for ourselves the advantages cited by Schnarch that come from a long-term monogamous relationship.
We also spent a couple of hours before that cuddling while watching a movie. Prior to this, we used to sit on separate sofas in the family room while watching TV or a movie. Now, we automatically sit together touching. We also rarely pass each other now without reaching out and touching, and it's become automatic also for us to move into a hug when we're standing in the kitchen talking to each other. When my husband comes home from work or back from a trip, we now hug for several minutes, which seems to help us reconnect. I wish we'd learned all of this sooner, but we're doing well for a couple of people who grew up in homes where physical affection between our parents seemed to be minimal (My dad used to hug my mom and say ILY, but it was never reciprocated; and my parents sleep in separate bedrooms. My husband never saw any physical affection between his parents, but he heard his parents having sex sometimes since his bedroom was next to theirs and got the distinct impression that his mom hated it).
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. C. S. Lewis
