Saving Pack through D, Pack_19 part V

[Pack_19]

hi all,

hope you are having a great time. I continue through this new life focused on my children and my goals, working on not feeling any shame for the consequences of the choices W has made and monitoring like a maniac my behaviour to not chase any woman and instead create the man I was always meant to be.

I started exercising slowly after the accident and my mood has improved (I had some dark days thinking again about my M, OMs and all those thoughts I worked so hard to eliminate). I have been very busy at work since I am in the middle of growing into a position of greater responsibility and I am buying tones of equipment to go on track days with my new car (this was always a dream for me).

I woke up today to a message of my L that we have a set date for the trial next Monday. As I approach the end of this blessed nightmare that has changed me as a man and father, I still have crossed thoughts. I am incredibly thankful for how this has changed my life and yet I have a feeling that I am rowing up a river where I am lost in terms of purpose and mission. Days go by, I try to improve on my exercise routine, my job, as a father and as a friend, and yet I do not have a new long term plan for Pack.

I told myself live like this wouldnt last long, and it is. I told myself there could not be OMs, and there were. I told myself I would wait and never file for D, and here I am with a legal appointment. How have you approached the trial date? I imagine this is a subject to hide entirely from the kids, they have already suffered enough.

All interactions with W are via email and related to the children. And here are my new PIES.

P - Get back to crossfit and smash my PRs. Marathon under 3:30, my sexual kung-fu, work on my diet and recover from accident asap.
I - Grow as a team leader in the new company, improve my driving and racing skills, get into investments and have a small portfolio and continue to learn about women. Become a man of integrity and core values
E - Practice active listening with everyone, be more social and open. Never pursuing any woman. Love, respect and admire the new man I have become. Put children above all in my life.
S - Talk to God, ask him for help moving on and stop doubting my growth and improvements. Accept I could never control the outcome, focus on me and improving as a man and father.