Nah, it's not a hijack. It's comforting to hear others stories. I'm in IT too, and I can easily flex to support the kids. My conundrum is D2. A few guidelines state overnights at different houses isn't good. I've been going back and forth on this, and seems the best is 5 hours blocks and one 8 hour block a week.
FWIW, I've explored attachment theory ad nauseam in IC and couples. I understand it that as an avoidant, after separation, we transition into anxious. Something like that. I literally just finished a book WAW dropped on my pillow about attachment. Made me cry, it explained our dynamic so well, and felt sad about my contribution. It's very true, I've exhibited sobtaging behaviours. But it was also nice to see some of those behaviours I don't do anymore.
WAW is anxious, so we triggered each other. Would have been nice to have known this, like 12 years ago! Lol
