EO's journal

[eyesopened]

Thanks, Hairdog. It was a terrific weekend. My husband's happier and more relaxed that I've seen him in a very long time. I'm happier and more relaxed, too. Most importantly, I think we both feel loved by the other. We spent the entire weekend together, with our kids as a family some of the time and without our kids by ourselves as a couple. We had some of the most open discussions of our marriage.

We ML again last night (that's 4 sessions between Friday night and last night), again using the Liberator pillows (should have remembered how much men and boys love new toys).

He also finally believes me about how I get aroused and turned on by HIM, by his love for me, and by his arousal and desire (I'd explained to him that if I feel emotionally close to him I'm already "warm" and that my body will catch up once we start ML). Simple solution-- I showed him by not letting him touch me while I kissed him and "did" him with my mouth and hands for 15 to 20 minutes last night. Then, I let him touch me "down there" and he was able to see and feel for himself that I was very aroused and ready even though I'd been in "mom" mode seconds before I came to bed.

In all fairness, I have to give my husband a lot of credit. He also read Willard Harley's book, His Needs, Her Needs, and it's obvious that he's trying and succeeding at meeting my needs, especially for affection (nonsexual) and conversation. Also, when I apologized and showed him how remorseful I was about turning down his sexual advances in the past, he told me it was water under the bridge and he brought me roses the next day. Michele discusses in her KLA tapes that she sometimes has to tell a couple in counseling that she can't help them because one or both of them won't let go of the anger and forgive the other. One of the things that probably helped the most for my husband and me is that he didn't hold a grudge and forgave me very quickly and sincerely (it works both ways, too, I've learned not to hold grudges against him and to forgive and let go).

All in all, one of the best and most loving weekends we've had since getting married.