Yeah, it feels tense, co-parenting in the same house is hard to db. And as you can see, I still have work to stop the speculation. I'm too concerned about the emotional state of others.
This morning, when I put my coffee in the microwave, she rushed out of her room in tears. I couldn't help but hug and say it's OK. She attempted to push me away by saving something about you need to do meditation, but I said, no that can wait. She went into a lot about not sleeping, feeling sick, and stressed. I validated quite well. The talk turned to our future. I made some things clear about what I want, even to the point of suggesting I found a great apartment in a different suburb, and it would be great for the kids. She made no attempt to argue. Then she had this fantasy of living in the same building, different units. I said maybe. She then was like, and if the kids are over at your place, and the cousins are nearby, we could go as a family. I said no, my time will be my time. Then it was cooking as a family every Wednesday as a family, we could all go to Thailand again... Then the kicker, and you can help with IT, I'll need IT support.
We did agree to take the move out slower, for the kids. And we agreed on next short term steos to minimise impact to the kids.
Oh, in between all this, evey evil thing I did in the marriage, how she didn't want to be mean and leave me at various points, and then she said "I need to separate so I don't get cancer. You are making me fat." I bit my tongue, and just said makes sense, took a lot of courage to do this, you can't keep feeling this way.
What sort of life is this fantasy? I'm all for keeping the family unit as possible, but this is like, I can go have fun no strings, keep him close, I'll ring when I need him. Moving on is what I need. I've stopped attending all family gatherings, so W will have to explain at some point.
I'm supporting the move, cheerfully participating in cleanup and packing.
